Sexual Frustrations

I haven't written a post in quite a while. This is because I have been so busy with finals and school projects. This post will be about a subject that has been troubling me for the past few weeks. Sex's role in our modern culture.

Despite what you may think, I am not going to sit here and write about how its evil to have sex before marriage because God said it was. I am a Christian, I know God commanded us to wait until marriage, and yes I did wait until marriage; but what we do not think about is why we should wait. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, and it is an amazing experience. But, people today do not know its true position in a relationship. Neither did people of old understand its importance. Our culture has failed to grasp the concept of sex for centuries. I do not claim to be an expert, but I do think I have finally discovered its true importance and position in a relationship.

In our society today, sex is a casual act, committed with anyone and everyone. This is destroying our future because it is destroying our ability to form long lasting relationships. Why is casual sex so harmful to humans? Because sex is an act of true vulnerability. When you engage in sexual acts with a person, you are giving them a place in your soul. Things go wrong when that person doesn't know what to do with that space in your soul and therefore hurts you emotionally. Also, sex has become the foundation of relationships. When my wife and i were engaged, people would ask us if we had sex, when we would answer no they would ask, "if you were buying a car, wouldn't you test drive it before you buy?" This completely goes against what sex truly is, and leads to the idea, "if the sex isn't good then the relationship isn't good. If the sex is good then the relationship will be strong." How can we honestly expect any relationship to work with a mind set like this? The truth is that sex is only as good as the relationship itself; if the relationship is good and strong, then the sex will be good. Yes, you may be able to make a woman reach orgasm every time, but if you do not reach an emotional connection with her than you have destroyed a part of her soul. No longer can we focus on sex, we must fix the relationship in order to make the sexual connection great.

But how can we make a relationship strong enough for sex. This is where Christians have it right when they say wait for marriage. Though most of us do not know what marriage actually stands for. Marriage is the ultimate commitment between a man and a woman to always put the needs and wants of the the other person before their own. For men, this means never asking her to do anything for or too you. we must always ask her what she needs, what she wants, how can we help, and how can I improve myself for you. I want to point out that I did not say how can you make her happy. In our modern minds, we are always about happiness, but happiness comes and goes. Every media outlet, whether it is movies, television shows, music, or literature says we have to be happy when we are married, this is a lie. Marriage doesn't make people happy, content people make a marriage. We must be content with what we are and where we are going. This would lead to more marriages lasting, that and when we are willing to accept that marriage/relationships is about sacrificing your needs and desires whether the person makes you happy or not. Love is built over years; when you wake up every morning and choose to stay with the person you woke up next too even though they piss you off and aren't as sexy looking as some of the other women you know. This is a relationship, its about choice, not emotions. I chose to stay with my wife, I don't always feel like staying with her, but it doesn't matter how I feel, I promised to be hers and I will keep that promise because I choose to.

When two people choose to be this close and choose to never let anything rip them apart, then they have earned the right to enter into a sexual experience that will only make them closer. This is sex's role in a relationship and why we as men to understand it before we can ask that really cute girl out. I hope this advice is helpful and that it helps your relationship grow.